Ron has passed . . .

My pal from across the pond often asks why I'm posting Blogs so early in the morning. And, though it doesn't happen all that often (to me, anyway), all I can say is: that when the spirits move you better be ready . . .

"The Love of My Lives" lost his father yesterday. We all did . . .

I hate death. I mean, I accept it, but I hate it.

12:40 PM, Friday, November 2, 2007, the phone rings (not unlike Thursday, October 25, 2001) and I learn that another man I've loved has passed . . . Ron is gone . . .

Just last September I met up with "The Love of My Lives" and he told me his father was not doing well. And, I said: "I want to see him." And, of course, I never got to.

I felt this way about my dad's cousin, Carolyn, too.

I'm one of those weird people that actually wants to see people, again, before they pass. But, I'm always 'restricted' and 'protected' from the apparent unpleasant state that these loved ones may be in. This pisses me off . . .

Regardless, it's my decision to want to see them, but because of other's well meaning, I never get to.

It's one reason "The Hours" and the book "The Notebook" resonate so much with me. They each face death squarely in the face. I don't mind death. I hate it. But, I don't mind it. I mean, what are you going to do about it? Death happens. It's like the infamous concept that "Shit happens!". I think I'll publish a new bumper sticker that says: "Death better NOT happen!"

Ugh!

As I shared with my 'soul mate', Barbara, today, I'm always surprised by my reaction when someone I love passes . . . especially when I'm 'prepared'. Fuck. It still hits me like a Mack Truck. Geez.

So, now I'm listening (for the one hundredth time in two weeks) to my CD. I think it's awesome. I think of "The Love of Lives". I think of his dad, Ron. I think of my dad, Phillip, or "Phil". And, I think about how lucky I am to 'feel'. It sucks. BUT, it 'feels' great. I'm so glad to be alive and to live.

Ohhh! I miss him . . . I miss him . . . but, it's "Okay." It's "Okay . . . " It's not great, but it's "Okay."

Remember, all, I love you . . .

And, a special thanks to Scott, Kristin, Mom, Dad (I love you both . . . so much . . . ) and, ultimately, Bob and Jess, for dragging me out last night . . . I love you all, so much. And then, and yes, . . . this means I'm still "Alive" ("I'm alive! Maggie, the Cat, is alive!" "Click me!"), thank God for that beefy bartender at "The Alchemist"! It's 555- . . . Kidding, not kidding y'all!

Live . . . please.

And, take nothing for granted.

Good night. Good morning. Grace.

Peace, love and light . . . always,

Lance =;-) (I love 'emoticons' . . . and I love you . . . )